Not knowing Why does not mean there is no purpose

Like Job of old, we all want to know the why of what we are going through. The truth is that there is always a reason but we may not always know what it is. The lack of an awareness of purpose does not remove the fact there is purpose. Every parent has tired of the insesent "Why?" of a child only to answer simply, "Because." The answer does not satisfy the child, but parents know that often the child is incabable or unwilling to understand what is really in their best interest.  Next time you consider asking, "Why", simply ask yourself, "Why not?"

You Have to Give Up to Go Up!

Leaders really have fewer choices, not more. The wide way is not open to leaders as they have to do what others are not willing or able to do. To go up the ladder of leadership you will have to be willing to give up the things that others cannot or will not give up to lead.

Completely understanding a truth of God does not mean you completely understand God.

Job had friends, but while  they spoke truth, it was not truth for his situation. Beware  when you feel the need to apply a biblical truth to a life that it is being applied to the same situation as where you found the truth in scripture. It is called context. A truth taken out of context and applied out of context is not longer truth. Study to show yourself approved rightly dividing the word of truth. Then you wont be ashamed.

What are you becoming?

My son raised a great question when he asked himself, "Am I becoming the kind of man that the kind of woman I want to meet wants to meet?" The truth is you are becoming what you are and you must choose now to be the kind of person you want to become later. It is called discipline. Success comes daily, not in a day so you must decide now if you are willing to say yes and no to the best things to be the kind of person the kind of person you want in your life wants in their life.  The good news is you can change. The bad news is that most folks do not. Make sure you not only date the kind of folks that you want to marry one day, but that you are also the kind of person you would want to marry. Think about it.

If You Want to be Interesting, be Interested

Most of us try way too hard to be funny or entertaining. All you really need to do is simply be a great audience. Next time you want to impress someone and hope they find you interesting, simply ask them about themselves and then listen, really listen. In fact, ask another question to show you want to go further with your interest in them. You will be amazed how that when they walk away from you they talk about how interesting you were to talk with, and all because you simply cared enough to be interested in them!

If You Didn't Make the Right Choice, Make the Choice Right

You cannot go back and change the past, but you can make sure that you learn from it and not allow it to dictate your future. If you discover you made a wrong choice, don't let it paralyze your future. Move ahead from this point on by making that choice right. Ask for forgiveness, make restitution, move forward with a commitment to build upon the lessons learned from it, but don't let it define who you are.

Position or Possession?

Every organization has someone in a  position of leadership, but does that person possess leadership? Leadership is influence and while management  is important, don't mix it up with leadership. Leaders know that they have to have character,  competence and chemistry. And in that order. To have competency and chemistry without character is a very dangerous thing, but if you have character with no competency and chemistry you won't find  yourself having any real influence. You might be a dictator, but you won't be a leader. Managers are task driven and leaders are people driven, for in the end all business is really people business and no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care!

Bitterness is the poison you take hoping it will kill someone else!

Anger is something that is easy to grab on to and hard to let go of. Your anger is based on the thing that you think someone else took from you or owes you in life. The problem is that anger does not return that thing taken from you and it will bind up your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. You owe it to yourself to go ahead and cancel the debt you are waiting for that other person to pay. They most likely cannot or will not and canceling the debt by forgiveness frees you up to get on with your life. Get healthy whether they choose to get healthy or not. Only people who have been freed by forgiveness are truly free to forgive others. Go ahead and get free: forgive for your sake and theirs.

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

So many people spend all their energy worrying about and protecting their reputation and in doing so neglect, or even sacrifice, their character. Character is who you are when no one else is around or will find out. Your reputation is what others think you are, right or wrong. Why not seek to simply live a life of true character so that who you are is consistent with who others think you are. That way you will never be nervous about the "truth" coming out.

Don't Assume Others Find You As Interesting As You Do!

This one sort of speaks for itself.

Sacred Cows Make Great Hamburger

Every church, company, group, family and person has them. Sacred cows. Those things that we  protect at all costs that really have no relevant function today and yet we simply will not allow them to be ground up or done away with. Think about how well fed the future could be if we were willing to make great hamburger by sacrificing those sacred cows! What is holding you back from a future that seems to be illogically anchored to the past? We should honor the past, but we must not worship it. Learn to discern between what is a principal and what is simply a preference. Your future could depend on it!

Speak the Truth in Love

True health is all about balance. Speaking the truth in love is never easy, but always right. The issue is finding the balance. Too many people camp out on one of the two extremes. Many folks are so "honest and blunt" that they are not respected and hurt relationships. Others are so "loving" that they talk all around but never get to the issue. Make sure you seek to speak truth into your own life first and then you will be prepared to examine if you love people enough to do the hard thing and tell them the truth.  Make sure thought that the truth truly comes from a heart of love for their well being or they will not care about what you share. Know one cares what you know until they know that you care. Confrontation is always hard, and if you enjoy it you may need some therapy, but on the other hand do you truthfully love someone enough to do the hard thing?

Happy Isn't Always Healthy

Just because a person, church or organization is happy; that does not always mean that they are healthy. It really depends on what makes you happy. Many a person or group is content to simply go with the flow, go along to get along and simply sit around holding hands singing "Cumbaya" while ignoring bad choices, all the time telling themselves everything is  OK. While a healthy organization will be happy, do not assume because everyone in your group is content with the way things are that you have true health. Sitting around singing Cumbaya may feel good, but you better ask yourself if what you feel good about makes you healthy or simply happy.

You Have to Make Change, to Make Change

Anytime you are seeking to influence others to change you must make sure that you have earned relational 'change' with them first. As John Maxwell says, "you have to seek their heart before you seek their hand." Change is usually tough on folks, so it will often cost you emotional and relational change that you have or have not accumulated in order to have it to spend on the request for change. So how are you doing?  Are you asking folks to make a change in the organization when you have not accumulated sufficient relational change yet to ask?  Folks will obey if they have to, but they only follow when they really want to! It isn't the big thing that folks give up on you for, it is simply the last thing you didn't have enough relationship to cover.

Hurt People, Hurt People!

If you notice someone in your life that seems to always be hurting others you can be pretty sure that they have been hurt  somewhere back in their own past. Beware of hurting others for more than likely they will end up hurting others. Isn't it interesting that when someone has hurt our feelings, how easy it is for us to hurt others and not even know it. The other side of the coin is true as well. If you have been hurt, be careful to see that you don't pass the hurt on to unsuspecting others. The best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive others (even if they don't ask for it) to free up your future from your past and to open up your heart to healing.

Does Your Kiss Still Work? His does!

I stand by the bed where a young woman lies, her face postoperative, her mouth twisted in palsy, clownish. A tiny twig of the facial nerve, the one to the muscles of her mouth has been severed. She will be thus from now on. The surgeon had followed with religious fervor the curve of her flesh; I promise you that. Nevertheless, to remove the tumor in her cheek, I had to cut the little nerve. Her young husband is in the room. He stand on the opposite side of the bed and together they seem to dwell in the evening lamplight, isolated from me, private. Who are they, I ask myself, he and this wry mouth I have made, who gaze at and touch each other so generously, greedily? The young woman speaks, "Will my mouth always be like this?" she asks. "Yes," I say, "it will. It is because the nerve was cut." She nods and is silent. But the young man smiles. "I like it," he says, "It is kind of cute." "All at once I know who he is. I understand and I lower my gaze. One is not bold in an encounter with a god. Unmindful, he bends to kiss her crooked mouth and I am so close I can see how he twists his own lips to accommodate to hers, to show her that their kiss still works.”   

Richard Selzer, Mortal Lessons: Notes on the Art of Surgery

Everyone is Ignorant, Just on Different Topics

     Everyone knows that somebody who, because they know a lot about something, think they know a little (or a lot) about everything. Well you and I know better. Everybody is ignorant, just on different topics.  While the inner city kid may know nothing about wall street investments (apparently neither does Wall Street), the tycoon is usually ignorant of how to survive the streets. Is knowledge in some topics better than another? All knowledge is helpful, but obviously some is more beneficial than other. 
     Here is the point. Stop the next time you think you know everything about everything. For every topic you know something about there are many more you do not. Appreciate all knowledge and what it took to gain it and realize no one knows it all. Knowledge and wisdom are two different things. Think about that.

Life is Fair, Everyone Has One

Do you often think to yourself how unfair life has been to you? The truth is that life really is fair because in the end life impacts everyone. Everyone has negative events in their lives it is just that we don't usually see the unfair things happening to others while we suffer through the unfairness of life. Remember they may not see what you are going through either and that is what makes it fair to all. In reality most Americans really would not want life to be fair or we would have to give up so much to level the "fair" field with the rest of the world. Long or short, tragic or joyful; life is "fair," because eventually it is "unfair" to everyone.

If a home schooler talks to themself, is that considered a parent teacher conference?

If you are a home schooler and find yourself a bit frustrated you are not alone!

Good News is, You Can Change. Bad News is, You Probably Won't

Isn't it great that every day is an opportunity to make new choices and everyone gets a new day every 24 hours. The problem is not many people make new choices. Life is really a series of choices. Big and small. Important and insignificant, but never under estimate the cumulative value of all those decisions. You do have the chance to live life differently tomorrow than you did today, but will you?  Look around and note that some do and many do not. I wish you only had to make one good choice for life to go well, but the truth is while there is one huge choice that ultimately sets the course for the rest of your eternity, life is really made up of lots of good choices. Unfortunately you really only have to make one bad choice to ruin the rest of your life. Even when you make good ones life still tosses you curve balls. So what will it be for you today? New beginnings or same old, same old?