If You Want to be Interesting, be Interested

Most of us try way too hard to be funny or entertaining. All you really need to do is simply be a great audience. Next time you want to impress someone and hope they find you interesting, simply ask them about themselves and then listen, really listen. In fact, ask another question to show you want to go further with your interest in them. You will be amazed how that when they walk away from you they talk about how interesting you were to talk with, and all because you simply cared enough to be interested in them!

If You Didn't Make the Right Choice, Make the Choice Right

You cannot go back and change the past, but you can make sure that you learn from it and not allow it to dictate your future. If you discover you made a wrong choice, don't let it paralyze your future. Move ahead from this point on by making that choice right. Ask for forgiveness, make restitution, move forward with a commitment to build upon the lessons learned from it, but don't let it define who you are.

Position or Possession?

Every organization has someone in a  position of leadership, but does that person possess leadership? Leadership is influence and while management  is important, don't mix it up with leadership. Leaders know that they have to have character,  competence and chemistry. And in that order. To have competency and chemistry without character is a very dangerous thing, but if you have character with no competency and chemistry you won't find  yourself having any real influence. You might be a dictator, but you won't be a leader. Managers are task driven and leaders are people driven, for in the end all business is really people business and no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care!

Bitterness is the poison you take hoping it will kill someone else!

Anger is something that is easy to grab on to and hard to let go of. Your anger is based on the thing that you think someone else took from you or owes you in life. The problem is that anger does not return that thing taken from you and it will bind up your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. You owe it to yourself to go ahead and cancel the debt you are waiting for that other person to pay. They most likely cannot or will not and canceling the debt by forgiveness frees you up to get on with your life. Get healthy whether they choose to get healthy or not. Only people who have been freed by forgiveness are truly free to forgive others. Go ahead and get free: forgive for your sake and theirs.

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

So many people spend all their energy worrying about and protecting their reputation and in doing so neglect, or even sacrifice, their character. Character is who you are when no one else is around or will find out. Your reputation is what others think you are, right or wrong. Why not seek to simply live a life of true character so that who you are is consistent with who others think you are. That way you will never be nervous about the "truth" coming out.

Don't Assume Others Find You As Interesting As You Do!

This one sort of speaks for itself.

Sacred Cows Make Great Hamburger

Every church, company, group, family and person has them. Sacred cows. Those things that we  protect at all costs that really have no relevant function today and yet we simply will not allow them to be ground up or done away with. Think about how well fed the future could be if we were willing to make great hamburger by sacrificing those sacred cows! What is holding you back from a future that seems to be illogically anchored to the past? We should honor the past, but we must not worship it. Learn to discern between what is a principal and what is simply a preference. Your future could depend on it!

Speak the Truth in Love

True health is all about balance. Speaking the truth in love is never easy, but always right. The issue is finding the balance. Too many people camp out on one of the two extremes. Many folks are so "honest and blunt" that they are not respected and hurt relationships. Others are so "loving" that they talk all around but never get to the issue. Make sure you seek to speak truth into your own life first and then you will be prepared to examine if you love people enough to do the hard thing and tell them the truth.  Make sure thought that the truth truly comes from a heart of love for their well being or they will not care about what you share. Know one cares what you know until they know that you care. Confrontation is always hard, and if you enjoy it you may need some therapy, but on the other hand do you truthfully love someone enough to do the hard thing?

Happy Isn't Always Healthy

Just because a person, church or organization is happy; that does not always mean that they are healthy. It really depends on what makes you happy. Many a person or group is content to simply go with the flow, go along to get along and simply sit around holding hands singing "Cumbaya" while ignoring bad choices, all the time telling themselves everything is  OK. While a healthy organization will be happy, do not assume because everyone in your group is content with the way things are that you have true health. Sitting around singing Cumbaya may feel good, but you better ask yourself if what you feel good about makes you healthy or simply happy.

You Have to Make Change, to Make Change

Anytime you are seeking to influence others to change you must make sure that you have earned relational 'change' with them first. As John Maxwell says, "you have to seek their heart before you seek their hand." Change is usually tough on folks, so it will often cost you emotional and relational change that you have or have not accumulated in order to have it to spend on the request for change. So how are you doing?  Are you asking folks to make a change in the organization when you have not accumulated sufficient relational change yet to ask?  Folks will obey if they have to, but they only follow when they really want to! It isn't the big thing that folks give up on you for, it is simply the last thing you didn't have enough relationship to cover.

Hurt People, Hurt People!

If you notice someone in your life that seems to always be hurting others you can be pretty sure that they have been hurt  somewhere back in their own past. Beware of hurting others for more than likely they will end up hurting others. Isn't it interesting that when someone has hurt our feelings, how easy it is for us to hurt others and not even know it. The other side of the coin is true as well. If you have been hurt, be careful to see that you don't pass the hurt on to unsuspecting others. The best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive others (even if they don't ask for it) to free up your future from your past and to open up your heart to healing.

Does Your Kiss Still Work? His does!

I stand by the bed where a young woman lies, her face postoperative, her mouth twisted in palsy, clownish. A tiny twig of the facial nerve, the one to the muscles of her mouth has been severed. She will be thus from now on. The surgeon had followed with religious fervor the curve of her flesh; I promise you that. Nevertheless, to remove the tumor in her cheek, I had to cut the little nerve. Her young husband is in the room. He stand on the opposite side of the bed and together they seem to dwell in the evening lamplight, isolated from me, private. Who are they, I ask myself, he and this wry mouth I have made, who gaze at and touch each other so generously, greedily? The young woman speaks, "Will my mouth always be like this?" she asks. "Yes," I say, "it will. It is because the nerve was cut." She nods and is silent. But the young man smiles. "I like it," he says, "It is kind of cute." "All at once I know who he is. I understand and I lower my gaze. One is not bold in an encounter with a god. Unmindful, he bends to kiss her crooked mouth and I am so close I can see how he twists his own lips to accommodate to hers, to show her that their kiss still works.”   

Richard Selzer, Mortal Lessons: Notes on the Art of Surgery

Everyone is Ignorant, Just on Different Topics

     Everyone knows that somebody who, because they know a lot about something, think they know a little (or a lot) about everything. Well you and I know better. Everybody is ignorant, just on different topics.  While the inner city kid may know nothing about wall street investments (apparently neither does Wall Street), the tycoon is usually ignorant of how to survive the streets. Is knowledge in some topics better than another? All knowledge is helpful, but obviously some is more beneficial than other. 
     Here is the point. Stop the next time you think you know everything about everything. For every topic you know something about there are many more you do not. Appreciate all knowledge and what it took to gain it and realize no one knows it all. Knowledge and wisdom are two different things. Think about that.

Life is Fair, Everyone Has One

Do you often think to yourself how unfair life has been to you? The truth is that life really is fair because in the end life impacts everyone. Everyone has negative events in their lives it is just that we don't usually see the unfair things happening to others while we suffer through the unfairness of life. Remember they may not see what you are going through either and that is what makes it fair to all. In reality most Americans really would not want life to be fair or we would have to give up so much to level the "fair" field with the rest of the world. Long or short, tragic or joyful; life is "fair," because eventually it is "unfair" to everyone.

If a home schooler talks to themself, is that considered a parent teacher conference?

If you are a home schooler and find yourself a bit frustrated you are not alone!

Good News is, You Can Change. Bad News is, You Probably Won't

Isn't it great that every day is an opportunity to make new choices and everyone gets a new day every 24 hours. The problem is not many people make new choices. Life is really a series of choices. Big and small. Important and insignificant, but never under estimate the cumulative value of all those decisions. You do have the chance to live life differently tomorrow than you did today, but will you?  Look around and note that some do and many do not. I wish you only had to make one good choice for life to go well, but the truth is while there is one huge choice that ultimately sets the course for the rest of your eternity, life is really made up of lots of good choices. Unfortunately you really only have to make one bad choice to ruin the rest of your life. Even when you make good ones life still tosses you curve balls. So what will it be for you today? New beginnings or same old, same old?

Success Comes Daily, Not in a Day

The day you get your diploma or score the touchdown is considered a day of success, but  in reality that is simply the day you are recognized for your success. True success was each and every very normal average dull day that you got up, went to class, studied, never gave up, practiced, exercised and trained. Yes success is recognized on a day, but it comes daily. Now go out there today and be a success.

Strengths Exaggerated Become Weaknesses

Did you ever notice that people often get fired for the very strength they were hired for or a couple breaks up based on the very things that attracted them to each other?  Why is that?  Your strength of personality, when not kept in balance and check, becomes your weakness. It is not that you have changed, but rather it is the fact that now the thing folks were attracted to you for now begins to work against you. They are around it all the time.  The outgoing and friendly salesman is now too chatty. The serious and focused accountant is now labeled negative and a loner. It is not that we need to change but that we simply need to find balance. It might very well be that you can discover your strengths by simply toning down the things that you think are a weakness. 

Don't Let Church Ruin Your Sunday

Seems interesting doesn't it that something as wonderful as Sunday can sometimes be lost in the very thing that is all about Sunday. I don't mean that church is simply open on Sunday, I mean that often the opportunity for personal metamorphosis through the miracle of that First Sunday can be lost in the human interactions with the very instrument for sharing the good news of transformation.  If you don't go to church because there are too many hypocrites there consider these two thoughts, if you allow others to stand between you and God who is closer to God you or them, and besides, isn't church a great place for all hypocrites to gather? After all, church is a hospital for sinners and not a hotel for saints. Don't let church ruin your Sunday. Go, visit, check it out, and you just might find your presence is exactly what has been missing. Experience Sunday for a change.

The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

Erma Bombeck was right! Things over the fence in your neighbor's life may look great, but what is it really sitting over? Be careful in trying to "keep up with the Jones-es." You really don't know what it is that is making their life look so fertile and green from a distance. Many a wealthy man has a ton of debt. Lot's of those high achievers never have a meal at home with the family they are doing "it" all for.  Bloom where you are planted and seek to grow, but be careful in what you long for or covet in the life of your neighbor. The  price of a greener lawn can often really stink.

If Something Is Worth Doing It Is Worth Doing Poorly

Would you trade your iPhone 4 for the aBell 1? (Yes kids, it was  Alexander Graham Bell not Steve Jobs that launched this whole thing) You might if you have the same carrier that some of my friends have, but consider this. Did Steve Jobs invent a great phone or simply advance the cause of the first poor one? You get the point. Many students, salesmen, and business leaders are waiting until they can do it "right" before they do it at all.  The first phone, plane and auto were not great, but they were ahead of their time. Innovative. And a start. Take on that new project now and simply do it to the best of your ability. It won't be as good as it can be, but it will begin. It is in the best of now that we create the basis for the perfecting of things tomorrow. It is good to do things as best you can, but  don't let the paralysis of analysis keep you from creating that next great poor first something!

No Adds Value to Your Yes

If you are one of those people that just feels like you have to say yes to everything and everyone, stop! Anyone who says yes to every request in their life isn't going to do a job worth a flip. Why? Because no one can do it all. Perfection is not being perfect. Perfection is a normal balanced life. Remember those? You don't have to chair every committee, volunteer for every charity and end up with no boundaries and no margin in your life. Choose what you say yes to carefully and then give your best effort to it. Add value to your yes by learning to say no.

I Love Humanity, It's People I Can't Stand

Many a recluse or flat out angry man can still be philanthropic. It is great when you can embrace the entire spectrum of humanity in a sense of benevolence and concern, but how are you with the individuals you know, live and work with? The problem with loving mankind is that eventually it boils down to people ... individuals. You have to engage with humanity one person at a time. Often you will not do for one person what you cannot do for all, but stop and reconsider that it just might be that if each one of us would reach one, we would touch all humanity one person at a time.  After all, you are people too!

If you are in a hurry, take your time!

Every carpenter knows to measure twice, cut once. At work, school and home; the quickest way to mess up and lose time is to rush. No one can just poke around. That never gets anything done, but be careful to not get in such a hurry that you mess up and have to start all over ... that won't get it done on time either. Slow down and think it through. Do you have all the resources you need to do it right? If it is a good idea today it will be a good idea tomorrow. Don't let opportunity pass you by, but don't trip over it either.

You wouldn't worry what others think about you if you realized how seldom they do!

How much of your life is eaten up with the worry of what others are thinking and saying about you? Don't flatter yourself. Relax. Others are way to busy worrying about what others are thinking about them to have time to focus on you. Most of the fear and energy we spend on worry is wasted by somehow thinking we must be at the center of the thoughts of others. The ones that think of you the most are the ones that love you and they are the only ones that really matter. You can worry or pray, but you cannot do both.