When they trot out a mouse, look for the elephant!

When people seem to over react to something that seems so small (the mouse) you can almost always assure yourself that they are hiding something much bigger (the elephant).  Don't write off someone's over reaction too quickly as simply being that. It may well be that they either have an all consuming issue that they either don't want to expose yet or they are not sure if they can trust you with it. Hurt people, hurt people and you should always look for the elephant when you see too much drama over a mouse! Your problem is not your problem and it just may be that the issue is not the issue!!

Your problem is not your problem

You usually find that the things that trouble you in others, the problems they seem to have that spill over onto you is really not the problem. Know what I mean? That friend that explodes with anger has a hurt. The one who struggles with addictions, lying and abuse is usually using those things to deal with their real issue. Oh yes, problems and issues are a hassle, but they are usually simply symptoms of the actual root problem. So what can you do? Dig a little deeper. Wait a little longer. Pray a little harder and realize that the problem is not their problem, but a symptom. And if YOU are trying to deal with an issue, get real and get down to your real problem. The goal is not to point fingers or make excuses, but to deal with your past so you do not drag it into your future. You can't change your past, but you can change your future.

Talk to me, not about me!

Confrontation really is the greatest thing you will most likely never do! Out of your fear of thinking you will only make a situation worse by talking to someone, how can you think that talking about them is better? Gossip is anything negative (even if true) you tell others that they have no power to do anything positive about. Confrontation is when you speak the truth in love to someone who can use it to make a positive difference. If you have been guilty of talking about people rather than talking to them, ask yourself how that has worked for you so far. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Talk to them, not about them and you just  might solve an issue rather than lose a friend!

If they will lie for you, they will lie to you!

If asked to lie for someone your answer should be NO! Why? Because integrity is who you are and not something you turn on and off at will. If a  boss would ask an employee to lie to cover for them, how does that boss know that the same employee would not lie to them?  How does the employee know that the boss would not hesitate to do the same? You both might think the lie is doing you both a favor, but it is not. You are simply creating a culture of dishonesty and therefore saying that in certain circumstances lying is OK. Really? Whose circumstances? Yours, his or who makes the call.  Employee, beware. Friend and family, beware. You are either honest or you're not!