When they trot out a mouse, look for the elephant!

When people seem to over react to something that seems so small (the mouse) you can almost always assure yourself that they are hiding something much bigger (the elephant).  Don't write off someone's over reaction too quickly as simply being that. It may well be that they either have an all consuming issue that they either don't want to expose yet or they are not sure if they can trust you with it. Hurt people, hurt people and you should always look for the elephant when you see too much drama over a mouse! Your problem is not your problem and it just may be that the issue is not the issue!!

Your problem is not your problem

You usually find that the things that trouble you in others, the problems they seem to have that spill over onto you is really not the problem. Know what I mean? That friend that explodes with anger has a hurt. The one who struggles with addictions, lying and abuse is usually using those things to deal with their real issue. Oh yes, problems and issues are a hassle, but they are usually simply symptoms of the actual root problem. So what can you do? Dig a little deeper. Wait a little longer. Pray a little harder and realize that the problem is not their problem, but a symptom. And if YOU are trying to deal with an issue, get real and get down to your real problem. The goal is not to point fingers or make excuses, but to deal with your past so you do not drag it into your future. You can't change your past, but you can change your future.

Talk to me, not about me!

Confrontation really is the greatest thing you will most likely never do! Out of your fear of thinking you will only make a situation worse by talking to someone, how can you think that talking about them is better? Gossip is anything negative (even if true) you tell others that they have no power to do anything positive about. Confrontation is when you speak the truth in love to someone who can use it to make a positive difference. If you have been guilty of talking about people rather than talking to them, ask yourself how that has worked for you so far. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Talk to them, not about them and you just  might solve an issue rather than lose a friend!

If they will lie for you, they will lie to you!

If asked to lie for someone your answer should be NO! Why? Because integrity is who you are and not something you turn on and off at will. If a  boss would ask an employee to lie to cover for them, how does that boss know that the same employee would not lie to them?  How does the employee know that the boss would not hesitate to do the same? You both might think the lie is doing you both a favor, but it is not. You are simply creating a culture of dishonesty and therefore saying that in certain circumstances lying is OK. Really? Whose circumstances? Yours, his or who makes the call.  Employee, beware. Friend and family, beware. You are either honest or you're not!

You can't need to be needed

Like the need to be loved, a leader has to make sure that they do no have a need to be needed. It is nice to be needed and we need leaders, but the leader who has to be needed is a leader that cannot and will not delegate to others. It is really a selfish attitude and not servant leadership since it really communicates, "I have to be more needed (more important) than anyone else." Thinking like this will paralyze you from empowering others and will create codependent followers, but not servant leaders and disciples.

You can't love to be loved

If  you have to be loved you cannot lead! Being loved is wonderful and when you can make people happy when you lead them that is icing on the cake, but the person that first and foremost has to be loved will never be in a position to make the tough calls. The hard decisions. He cannot lead. Speak the truth in love, but speak the truth and lead for the good of others and not yourself.

Do you work better under pressure, or do you only work under pressure?

Procrastinators love to brag about how much better they perform when under pressure, but the truth is they really do not know for most of them only perform when under pressure! Many a student that crammed the night before the big test or did a semester term paper in a night walk around in a self induced caffeine stupor convincing themselves they really nailed it that time! If you are one of those, why not prove yourself right or wrong by actually starting something early. Giving thought to it and then rework it some more. After all, there is no good writing. Only good rewriting!

If you want to lead the orchestra you have to turn your back to the crowd

Every audience loves to watch and listen as the orchestra performs. The musicians feed off of the crowd and soloists even play to the crowd, but if you want to conduct the orchestra you have to turn your back to the crowd. It is the conductor who leads the orchestra, but in doing so he/she must not focus on the crowd or the musicians, but rather on the music. Do you want to be a leader? Then you must be aware of the crowd, but you cannot play to them. You must be sensitive to the orchestra, but you have to be able to stand alone. Crowds are everywhere, musicians many, but maestros are few. Can you hear His music?

Truth is always simple, but seldom easy!

Most of the great truths in life are simple, but simple does not mean easy. The fact that life is made up of basic decisions and the management of those decisions is a simple truth, yet making good choices and managing them for your entire life is not easy. Whether you are facing health, financial, spiritual, or relationship issues, look for simple answers, but be ready for the difficult task of implementing them in your life. You cannot spend more than you make, simple truth. Eat well, exercise and do it for the rest of your life;  a simple truth. Do it for the rest of your life; not so easy. Embrace this simple truth; God loves you so much that He takes you where you are, but loves you too much to leave you there!

If you're going to do it, don't gripe!

     This one was handed  to me from my wife, who got it from her mom and of course I passed it on to my kids. I don't know which is more fun, signing up for too much stuff or complaining about   all of it? It is not just our kids that volunteer or sign up for little league, dance, drama and gymnastics only to complain on the way to each about "having" to go. 
     The truth is no one has to over schedule their life, but if you do choose to do so a sure fire truth is no one wants to hear about it. If you have too much on your plate, don't sign up next semester, but for this semester do it with a big ol' smile on your face. It is your plate. If you start it, finish it.  If you hate it, don't sign up again. But please, please, please don't complain about all your extracurricular activities. After all they are EXTRA! In keeping up with all the other families you just might find yourself drifting to the rear of the pack, but that is a pretty good position for watching the rat race. Life is a marathon, not a sprint and mom did say, "Not everyone is doing it. You're not!"

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!

Guess you heard about the butcher that backed up into the meat grinder and got a little' behind' in his work! Even as I crank out this post I am to be preparing to go on a trip and as usual there are always those last minute details that have to happen, well, last minute. Here is my issue though, when under the gun my first response is not to panic or worry, but to hurry. Sure enough, I then get a little behind in my work. Work smart not hard. Plan ahead but expect the unexpected and when it comes, take your time. An earlier post still rings true. When in a rush, slow down and take your time. Measure twice and cut once is not only true for the carpenter and the butcher, but you and me as well. And that is the meat of this post!

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.

Anger is driven by a sense of someone owing you something they cannot or will not pay you. It could be money, but   it is more commonly a stolen childhood, innocence, joy, opportunity or relationship. So what do you do when you feel they owe "it"  to you, but you know you will never get "it" back? Forgive "it." Forgive the debt. Mark it paid in full so you can move on. Forgiving others allows you to get on with your life and is something you can do even if the other person never asks for it. Do yourself a favor and set yourself free by canceling the debt that will never be paid. Take it to the bank. It's the reasonable thing to do.

You Don't Have to Sit on an Empty Nest!

As soon as a child is born you begin to raise an adult. You begin the process of taking that totally dependent baby and making him/her a totally independent adult. We should not be surprised, nor saddened, by our children's adventure into adulthood that takes them out of the nest. In fact, that is the goal!  Independent adulthood launched at birth. But take heart empty-nester, you don't have to sit on an empty nest! You may miss those mandatory band festivals, Friday night lights and extended prom photo sessions, but you too can spread your wings and fly as you stop sitting on that empty nest. Date again, travel, eat real food, exercise, serve, find a hobby. Do all those things you wanted to do while you were at those PTA meetings. Now just may be your time to  soar as well.

If you make your children the center of your world, they may grow up thinking they are the center of the universe!

   It is very difficult to dedicate your entire life to your kids and then expect they will grow up to be an adult who will give themselves selflessly to others. If we think people are becoming more and more self-centered we should stop and ask ourselves, "Who put them at the center?"  The little boy who got trophies for simply showing up and the princess girl who slept in her tiara every night, just might have a tough time being tossed together into a selfless marriage later on. The bottom line is that the greatest thing a couple can give their kids is a solid marriage. What every kid really wants are parents that have a strong marriage. If you really want to put your kids first do so by putting your marriage first. In the end your kids will thank you and so will the rest of the universe.

If you have to tell them you're Gregory Peck, you're not!

     Reputation is who folks think you are while character is who you are when no one else is around. There is nothing more frustrating than to see something in the display case window only to find out they don't have it in your size or color. When  people see your life are you more or less than what they see? 
     The story is told that actor Gregory Peck (kids ask your parents who this is) stood at the back of a line awaiting  a table at a fine Hollywood restaurant when some of the folks in line began to recognize him and wondered why he did not cut to the front and make his presence known to the hostess. Upon being questioned Peck simply responded, "If you have to tell them your Gregory Peck, you're not!" Friends, if you have to tell them your spiritual, you're not. Let's make sure we have more in the warehouse than in the showroom.

Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others.

     The flight attendant always tells you that in case of a drop in cabin pressure to calmly take the yellow  mask when it drops down in front of you and put your's on first before assisting others. Oh yeah, and breath normal! What makes sense in an emergency makes sense every day. There is nothing wrong with caring for others and we are taught at an early age to live a selfless life, but taking care of yourself is one of the most selfless things you can do. What good are you to those around you if you black out first?
     One of the greatest things a husband can do to care for his wife is to care for his own health while young so as to be around later to care for her. One of the most selfless things a retiree can do is save enough money for themselves so as to not be a burden financially on their kids later.  Put others first by not neglecting yourself.  Don't care for others to the point you have nothing left for them or you.  In the end everyone will have a better flight!

You're Either On the Way or In the Way

     You really cannot stand still in life. You are either moving forward or backward, but there is no standing still. You are either a missionary or a mission field. Each year Christians head to various locations across this globe to boldly live among indigenous people for seven days.  Patiently loving others, doing acts of kindness and using any and all opportunities to share Christ. 
     358 days a year we too often timidly live among our fellow indigenous neighbors, oblivious to daily opportunities to share our faith and too busy to really find time to be kind.  So what gives? Does seven days on mission to total strangers make up for 358 days of non-missional living among those that we know? The Great Commission is real. Jesus left heaven to come to earth and then changed the world by never venturing outside His own country. His life was mission; mission was His life. The Great Commission really is, "As you go therefore."  Go on that mission trip this year and then come home and remember your life is your mission. Are you on the way or in the way?

Your raise will become effective when you are!

People everywhere are wanting more and more for less and less. Whether at work, home, church or school;  folks want to give less, but receive more. It really is true that if you have a job that you would do for free and can get paid for it then you never really work a day in your life. I have a job like that. Not always easy. Never the same two days in a row. And I would not trade it for anything.  The best way to get a promotion is to promote yourself by becoming effective. When your life adds value to others you  marry success and significance into a career, call, mission and passion.  Don't give in to the entitlement mentality. Common sense and work ethic are so rare today that anyone with character, competence and chemistry can float to the top like cream. So start churning out the work!

Don't Shoot the Dog to Kill the Tick

Do you act or react? Neither is wrong, but over reacting is. Too many people lay back and do nothing about issues that they need to deal with, hoping that things will just work out on its own. How is that working for you?  Still others rush in over reacting in a panic and not taking the time to seek wise counsel or to reflect on similar situations from the past. Sort of their own version of a panic attack on the situation.Confrontation is the greatest thing that most folks will never do. The ticks of life must be dealt with, but make sure you take aim and focus your methods only to the extent that you have to in order to deal with the issue properly in love and truth and then leave the  poor dog alone.

Pay Now, Play Later

Maturity is the ability to postpone pleasure. Every infant wants to eat or be changed right this very minute and they will tell you so. There are two paths  people can take. They can either play now and pay later, or pay now and play later. Regardless of the choice, one thing is certain. Life will demand a payment. You can exercise today to extend your health tomorrow. You can save today to spend tomorrow. You can eat at home today rather than hit the drive through and thereby go out for steak down the road. Bottom line is there is no such thing as a “free lunch,”  life is not a gift—it is an investment. The sooner you  take control of your desires and submit them to life’s demands, the more successful you will become.  When we pay later, the price is even greater!